Humility, Rebuke, and Repentence.

Wow! It's almost been a whole year since I last blogged, thats crazy. Where does the time go? Anyway, as most of you know, I was MIA from True North for about a month. It wasn't a happy time for me, in fact it was terrible. I am back though, so I want to thank anyone who prayed for me while I was gone.

The topic of this blog, is basically in the title, but it all relates to being hard-headed. Not being able to accept the things that people say. And while there is no excuse for it, there is a reason. Not many people know this, except for Bobby and Ryan D. but I'm manic depressive (also known as bipolar disorder), and when I have a bad mood swing, anything that anyone says, even a simple "Hey, what up?" can make me angry. And when that happens, I tend to shut everyone out of my life, and bottle things up; hoping that they'll pass overhead. I've now learned that that is a bad idea :/

About a month ago, I got into an arguement with Matthew Crane, and it didn't end very well. I was very angry, and because of my depression I decided to drive him away rather than listen to him. The Bible says in Col 3:12-

"As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience."

I had no humility, or patience. I was angry, so I pushed him aside and continued living my life the way I wanted to. I just want to say sorry for that, and if I did that to anyone else, I'd like to say sorry to them as well.

Thanks to Ryan Damato, I'm back to church. We had a few talks via phone, and he got me to come back to small groups, and with just one visit, I was plugged back in. I love it at True North, no place in the world compares. So now that I'm back, I'd like to hit that last subject in the title. I've been praying for forgiveness, and working on my relationship with God. And with everyone's help, I know that I'll be able to :]

As Ryan always pushes accountability, I'm going to ask for it here. Now that you know about my depression, when you see patterns in my life where I seem to be pushing people away, you'll know whats going on...and you can all help me out; keep me on track with God.

2TI 2:25 says:

"Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth"

Amen to that verse.

I just want sign off saying how great it is to be back, and how much I missed you all.

--[Saint_J]

The wicked life is a short one.

This weekend (for those of you who attended True North) we all heard Bobby speak yet another fantastic message, and it reached me deeply. Though all his messages do that, this particular one hit a personal soft spot of mine. The strongest points that jumped out to me were that God will judge the wicked, and that nearness to God is your good.

First off, God will judge the wicked. After I heard this message and really thought it over, I came to the conclusion that nearness to God comes from being with his people on a daily basis, and worshipping him in your alone time. In other words, constant relations with God, and his people. A verse we looked at frequently in Teen Ministers a few weeks back was
2 Corinthians 6:14:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

We were asked what we thought this verse meant, and most of us came to the same conclusion that we have to spend more time with Christians than non-Christians. Which applies to Bobby's message on being near to God quite well. You can't be near to God if you're involved with the wicked and the evil, unless you're evangelizing to them that is...and even then, it should be a short time at that.

I once knew first hand what the complete opposite of being close to God was, and it wasn't a good place. At all. Psalm 73:14 says :

"All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning."

I knew what that felt like, every single day that I was away from God. I was living my life for ME instead of God, and I was plagued by the fact that I knew who God was, and that He was the right answer but I still didn't do anything to better myself. I was a "Lost Sheep" . I finally faced the fact that I needed God, and if I didn't come back to Him, I would die wicked, and be judged for it.

Surely, the wicked will be punished. We all know this to be true, one day God will judge everyone. The holy and righteous will enter God's kingdom and worship the Lord in happiness for all of eternity. Yet, the wicked, will be cast into the lake of fire, and burn forever and ever; A second death more horrible than the first. As I said earlier, I used to know the wicked life, and as Bobby said this weekend "Do not be deceived by the wicked", I obviously had been, and now I see the faults I had made. One big one in particular...

Which leads me to my second point. Nearness to God. At the end of both of Bobby's sermons this weekend, he had us break up into groups and pray about what we learned from the message. My main point, that I wanted to share was that you can't come near to God without being with his people. Romans 12:5 :

"In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

That verse, and the one I mentioned earlier about not being yoked with non-Christians clearly shows us that God's spirit dwells with His people.
The feeling I feel now, when I'm with my Christian friends, is indescribable compared to the feelings I had when I was a wicked person. I can attest to the power of being with God's people and how it truly is good, and that it really is the key to being close to Him.

I want to close with Bobby's last point of the weekend: "View nearness to God as your good", that line couldn't be more perfect. Good only comes from being close to God, everything else is sin and will perish at the end of this short life we have on earth.

The wicked life is a short one.

Depression ======> Happiness

Since I've started this blog, I've always wanted to tackle this subject, what makes a person happy?

Last night, I had found out that one of my good friends had pretty much betrayed my trust that I had in him, and that in itself brought my spirits down instantly. I prayed to God right away for help, I went through the Bible and found this about happiness:

Psalm 28:7 : "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."

I put my trust in God and went to sleep, hoping that I would wake up in a better mood. When I did wake up, I was slightly happier, but not 100%. And then around noon, Bobby picked me up to go to Curren's house...So my point is, today some of the guys and I played a friendly game of high stakes starburst poker at Curren's house, and when I was with all the guys: Matty, D-money, Chewy, Curren, Josh, and Bobby, I instantly felt better about myself. I was filled with joy not because of the poker, or because I had a little stack of someone elses candy in front of me, but because I was spending time with my brothers in Christ. Being with God and God's people is where happiness really comes from.

1 Peter 1:8 "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy..."

I've looked back at all the times that I have ever felt downcast, and whenever I put my trust in God, whether it be in prayer, spending time with my Christian brothers or sisters, or spending time in deep worship, I always come out in a way better mood then the times I tried to deal with it on my own.

John 15:11 says: "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." :

God wants us to be happy, He does not wish any of us to be downcast. So I realized the answer to bringing up our spirits in time of sadness is easy, the answer is God. I don't know if anyone else has the same problem as I do, but I hope this helped someone out there. Happiness is the easiest thing to find, if you know where to look :]


I'll end tonights blog with my favorite verse on happiness:

Psalm 84:4-5: "How happy are those who can live in your house, always singing your praises. How happy are those who are strong in the Lord…."

.Love and Valentines day.

Valentines day. Your favorite holiday?? Maybe, but walking around my school today I saw more than 5 dozen people complaining about "Not having a valentine". I can see why that is sad, because sure, I didn't have one either...but they took it to the extreme. "No one loves me!", "My life sucks because I didn't get flowers, I must not be loved by anyone!", "Love sucks!". These are the things I heard from kids around my school today, and it really got me thinking.

First of all, God loves everyone. I mean come on, even non-Christians know the most well-known verse about God's love for his people: John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Secondly, anyone who says they are not loved by anyone needs to seriously look at their life again. Everyone is blessed by God with people in their lives who love them, (just hearing all these complaints really helped me realize that I too have tons of love in my life) I want to look at 3 kinds of love here in this blog because I've been thinking about it all day, and this is the first place I could pour it all out.

1) Friendly love. The dictionary defines platonic love as: ~purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.~ Now honestly, we all have friends, if someone hated you they would not be your friend. Now there is some love right there. John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." I love all my friends, Church friends, school friends, family friends...I love all my friends. So if you have a friend, you are most likely loved in at least one way so far.

2) Non-Platonic love.I couldn't really think of a word opposite of platonic that wasn't inappropriate, so I went with that. People who are dating, if they date long enough, and they grow close to someone they can end up loving eachother. Now this is a great feeling, having a girlfriend (or boyfriend for you girls who read this), that you feel so close to, someone who knows everything about you, that you love. This is the love that valentines day launches into our faces. Now, you might have a girlfriend/boyfriend, you might not, but this is the only thing the people at my school were looking for. They didn't necessarily have a "special someone" to celebrate this day with, but that does not mean that they are not loved. God encourages love between men and women, and for them to get married: Matthew 19:5 "...and said,'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?" There isn't anything wrong with loving someone like this at all, but at a high-school, it shouldn't be the end of the world if you're single.

3) (The most important love) The love for God. I found a collection of verses on this topic:

Matthew 22:37-38; Jesus replied, "’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment."

I John 4:19; "We love him, because he first loved us."

Deuteronomy 6:5; "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

Those are only a few of the verses in the Bible about loving God, but they are some of my favorites.It seems like I am rambling right about now, so I'll get to the whole point of this blog; We all have love, we all need it, and we all need to give it. For those downcast about being single should remember Bobby's message this past weekend, when your downcast look to the Lord. Being single isn't the end of the world, and you certainly have love, always. The love of God lasts for an eternity, and we should all recognize this :]

Baptism; For the glory of God.

So, anyone who is reading this blog probably knows that today was the baptism at Compass Bible Church. I would have to say, that it was the most amazing experience I have ever had! Ever since I heard that we were holding a baptism service, I felt like it was something I needed to do (and something I wanted to do) ever since I had decided to dedicate my life to Christ. As Christ says in Matthew 28: 18-20 "Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'"

Today when I got the Compass room, there were so many chairs set up, I really couldn't count them, just the fact that so many people were going to be there put a smile on my face. Having everyone see my outward confession of following Christ was exactly what I wanted. When I joined the rest of the High-schoolers I saw a few people who were extra nervous when Bobby had asked them to share their testimony, but I had mine all planned out, and was looking forward to it 100%. Even though I had to shorten it by upward of one and a half minutes, I still think I got the point across awesomely. I just pointed out that I had once been a "Lost Sheep" (a term I love using, since I too was once lost, but now I'm found) and that coming to True North had re-opened my heart to the word of God. Which it really has. If not for this ministry and everyone in it like Bobby, Ty, Curren, Heather, D-money, Matt...and SO many more, I might not even be here as a Christian right now.

When I was at the front of the line, next to be baptized but before I climbed into the tank, I was standing next to Justin, who asked me if I was ready, and I can't really think of a word for how I was feeling; I felt nervous but I wasn't, because this was what I was looking forward to for weeks now. After I shared my testimony, I came to realize the whole symbolization of dying with Christ and being re-born a whole new person that comes with being baptized. Right before I was immersed all I could think of was how grateful I was to have someone like Bobby in my life who could do this for me. And when I came up out of the water, I really did feel like a brand new person, I've probably been smiling since that moment. It was refreshing, amazing, scary, and dozens of other words that I can't think of right now. But what I cant think of is that it was no doubt one of the best days of my life!! :]